Scherler Easiest Lager

NEW BATCH JUST CANNED - PREORDERS SHIP ON MONDAY, AUG 12!

We're proud to introduce y'all to a brand new, year-round offerring, Scherler Easiest Non-Alcoholic Premium Shitty™ Light American Lager (wow, that's a mouthful) (tee-hee, hell yeah it is). This flagship beer is being added alongside Freak Flag to our permanent line-up, and is a non-alcoholic version of Three Magnets, Scherler Easy Premium Shitty™ American Light Lager.

What is a Shitty American Light Lager?

Beers used to be independently made. With local ingredients. You could literally taste the terroir. Then most breweries got bought up by the big guys. The big, shitty guys. Who turned beer into a commodity. And began to use the cheapest fermentables they could find. Because they like money. I mean, they REALLY like money. So they cheapened the recipes gradually over time, so that we wouldn't notice. Kinda like a frog boiling in water. And as a result, we learned to appreciate these cheap, shitty lagers, in a weird Stockholm syndrome sort of way.

So, What is a Premium Shitty™ American Light Lager?

We're so glad you asked. We kept a lot of the things that we’ve all grown to appreciate about shitty American light lagers, including a little corn and rice sprinkled into the mash to give it that nice, crisp flavor. But we brew ours in small batches, by hand (not with robots!), and we use locally grown, small batch, craft malted grain for our base malt. (It's almost like we care about quality, or something...)

So, what makes the non-alcoholic version different?

Don't worry. It's still premium. And it's still shitty. In other words, it's still Premium Shitty™. You can literally taste the corn and the rice. But you can also taste the premium, locally sourced, micro-malted grains. And it's still brewed by hand, the real hard way (sorry Budweiser™, nobody is buying that your robots are actually brewing things the "hard way", despite what you tell us in your advertising, lol).

The biggest difference is that we do not simply brew our normal Scherler Easy and then remove the alcohol, as we do not believe that creates the most convincing non-alcoholic beer. Plus, NA beer shouldn't be an afterthought. We're trying to change that. So we designed this recipe from the ground up, as a non-alcoholic beer from the start, just like we always do. Just as they should be designed. While taking strong influence from the leaded version. And then we fermented it to an ultra-low abv (less than .5% abv).

So, who is the mastermind behind this beer?

Our brewer Aaron Blonden is a lager legend, having both World Beer Cup and Great American Beer Festival medals under his belt for lagers (he absolutely loves it when we talk about this.../s), arguably the most difficult style to master (if you don't know what those medals are, they're kind of a big deal. Like, the biggest deal a brewer can earn.). Self Care was conceptualized because he wanted to provide convincing beer alternatives for beer lovers who wanted to facilitate a more healthy relationship with alcohol. He was not happy with most non-alcoholic beers, and simply felt he could do them better. So, we did.

WARNING: similar to many juices, kombucha, and other beverages you'll find in the grocery store, this product has not been pasteurized, and therefore may contain harmful bacteria that can cause serious illness in children, the elderly, and persons with weakened immune systems.

PLEASE NOTE: like other beverage industries have been doing for centuries, we mitigate the potential for bacterial growth in other ways, rather than to pasteurize and destroy the nuanced flavors that make our beer stand out from many pasteurized non-alcoholic beer offerings, though we do acknowledge pasteurization is the most effective way to inhibit bacterial growth, or potential for refermentation in the can. Risk may be exacerbated by prolonged warm storage, so to mitigate risk, always cold-store Self Care immediately upon receipt, and avoid exposure to extreme heat.